Writing Your Birth Story
Do you think deeply about your birth? What do you wish went differently? What went well and you would do again? Do you daydream about a perfect birth story for another baby but you have no plans on having another one? I do often! And yes my work surrounds birth and babies regularly, but many things about my births that stick out that I keep revisiting in my mind. I have a whole planned out vision of a perfect birth but I am all done having my babies. Writing your birth story and sifting through the moments, the details, the emotions, and the questions that surround it is a very important part of processing your experience. It's so beneficial for you and I recommend everyone do it! Birth is wildly transformational. I believe during each birth we crack open and become someone new. As we uncover who that person is, processing our birth story is important.
“Birth matters… for each mother, it is an event that shakes and shapes her to the innermost core.”
Here are some tips on writing your birth story…
1: Make an audio recording
Make an audio recording of yourself telling your birth story, ideally in the first week after your birth. Tell it to your partner, your doula, or a trusted friend, and ask that they don’t interject with questions during that first recount. Start the story with the lead-up to labor, and conclude it when your first day with the baby ended or when you got back home after the birth. Include details like smells, sounds, emotions felt, a rough timeline, what was hard, what surprised you, what you were proud of, and what was it like to see your baby for the first time. At the end, your partner can chime in to fill in any missing details and share their reflections.
2: Write it down
When you are ready write your birth story in detail. This version is for you to really feel through it all as you tell your story in a way that helps you process what happened.
3: Sift through photos and video
If you had a birth photographer, look through these photos as you write your story, create a timeline with the images, and even write captions for what was happening inside for some of the moments that stand out the most for you.
4: Get clarity with medical records
If there are key moments that stick out to you or questions are remaining about your story, ask for your medical records for a clearer understanding of the timeline and procedures that may have taken place. You can also research anything you don’t understand or connect with a birth worker who can help you with research.
5: Write to providers
Write letters to any providers, your doula, or support people to express how they helped support you or didn’t serve you throughout the process. You can share these thoughts with them directly or not but it’s important to get all those feelings out on paper.
6: Talk to a professional
If your birth story continues to haunt you consider working with a therapist or coach who is specialized to help you process the story further.
7. Create a keepsake for your child
Write a version of your birth story to share with your child, It can be short and sweet, or long and detailed but a beautiful version for your child to hear. Choose birth images to put alongside it and print this version to be shared with your child each year as she grows.
–Kristen
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